


Mouselet - Special Correspondent

by Small_Hobbit



Series: The Marylebone Monthly Illustrated [8]
Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:43:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8469238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: Mouselet is back writing for the Marylebone Monthly Illustrated again.





	1. Backwards

I’m delighted to be back writing for you.  Of course, I wrote last month, as part of the report of our adventures in the West Country, but I have now been promoted to Special Correspondent, so here is the first of my Special Correspondences.  
  
Mr Holmes had been pitchforking to Mrs Hudson, regarding the correct way of making a deduction and how it was important to gather the facts before coming to a conclusion.  
[ **O/N** : We are not sure what Mouselet means by ‘pitchforking’, possibly pontificating.  The Sloth, my sub-editor, did suggest she meant Mr Holmes was throwing ideas up in the air and seeing where they landed, but I am not certain that is correct.]  
  
Mrs Hudson replied by saying it was the same with making a cake.  It was important to gather all the ingredients together beforehand and to ensure the right proportions were used, or the result would be disastrous.  She said Mr Holmes must be careful to give the correct weight to all the facts he discovered.  
  
Mr Holmes did not seem very happy at this.  It may be he does not think making deductions is equal to making a cake.  For myself, I can see the value in both.  
  
It was shortly after this Mr Holmes departed because he had an important case, and I did not see him again until late that afternoon.  He and Dr Watson returned together.  They were clearly in good spirits and were accompanied by Inspector Lestrade and my favourite, Inspector Hopkins.  I heard them come up the stairs and Mr Holmes call out “Tea for four please, Mrs Hudson.”  
  
The four gentlemen assumed their usual seats in 221B and, once Mrs Hudson had brought up tea and cake, Mr Holmes began speaking.  “This is what I was telling you, Lestrade.  You really should not come up with a theory before you are in possession of all the facts.”  
  
Dr Watson added, “You have to admit, you did rather put the cart before the horse.”  
  
Anyone can tell that is clearly backwards, for the horse has to pull the cart, and not push it.  The other day the baker got his cart stuck across the road when he tried to turn round, and it took him a long time to move it again, for he had to unhitch the horse to do so and then he was unable to use the horse’s strength to move the cart.  Several people got very cross with the baker and a policeman had to be called.  (Not my lovely inspector, of course, just the sort of policeman who breaks up fights in the street.  I would hate my inspector to do that, for he might get hurt.)  
  
Inspector Lestrade said, “My conclusion was perfectly logical.”  
  
“But it only took into account some of the facts, and not all of them.  And then, having realised your mistake, it was a waste of time sending the constable to the railway station, when Parkes would clearly have already caught the train,” Mr Holmes said.  
  
“A bit like shutting the stable door after the carthorse has bolted,” Inspector Hopkins said quietly.  
  
I am not sure why this should be the sensible thing to do.  This is clearly another thing that is backwards.  However, my inspector is a very intelligent man (you can see that in his beautiful grey eyes), and Dr Watson laughed and nearly choked on the tea he was drinking, so I will not complain.  
  
Mr Holmes, too, was coughing, although I did not think it was because he was laughing.  Then he called out, “Mrs Hudson, there is something wrong with the fruit cake.”  
  
Mrs Hudson reappeared with a plate of jam tarts.  “I did wonder about it.  Esme, the new girl, made it, but she put the eggs in after the flour and dried fruit.  So you see, just as with your cases, you do not get the desired result if you take things in the wrong order.”  
  
Mr Holmes said something like “Hmph”, but made no further comment.  
  
Today my beloved inspector called round again.  It was teatime and Mrs Hudson had made a fruit cake.   My inspector smiled sweetly at the doctor (he has a very sweet smile), raised his strong eyebrows and said, “I see we have deduction cake again.”  
  
Mr Holmes said “Hmph” again, but Dr Watson laughed.


	2. Hyacinths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas at Baker Street, with illustrations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for LJ's Fan Flashworks Amnesty Challenge "Photo" prompt

  
[ **Ocelot's Note** : The hyacinths are genuine, the pictures, however, were not taken at Baker Street, but in the photographer's studio.]  
  
  
  
Mrs Hudson has placed a bowl of hyacinths on the table.  I would not have known they were hyacinths except I heard her telling Dr Watson the name and saying they should be in flower for Christmas.  She also said something I do not know how to spell regarding Mr Holmes and what would happen if they did not bloom.  
  
There seemed to be rather a lot of moss on the pot, so I did not think Mrs Hudson would mind if I took a little.  I had decided to decorate my own little mouse hole with some greenery and I do not care for the prickly holly which is decorating 221B.  I do not think Mr Holmes is very fond of it either, although that may be because he had swept some of it on the floor with his arm when he was demonstrating something to the doctor and then failed to pick it up again, before he walked on it with his stockinged feet.  
  
There was also a sprig of mistletoe hung over the door.  Billy, the page, kept trying to catch Esme to kiss her, but was unsuccessful.  In fact, as far as I know, the only person to make use of it was Inspector Lestrade, who kissed Mrs Hudson when she brought the tea tray up.  Mrs Hudson did not look very impressed, and told the Inspector he was far too old for that sort of thing.  
  
“That sort of behaviour is more suited to the younger generation,” she said and looked at my inspector.  His face turned a rather sweet shade of red.  Dr Watson turned to Inspector Lestrade and they nodded at each other.  I believe my sweet man may have a young lady he has taken a fancy to.  I am glad, for that will make him happy, but I do hope it will not mean he comes to visit us less often.  
  
As it is, the mistletoe has now disappeared, because Dr Watson caught Mr Holmes saying, “of course the berries can make an interesting poison,” and he removed the plant before Mr Holmes had the chance to try it out.  
  
  
  
The hyacinths have been growing quickly.  I can see where the flowers are coming out of the leaves.  Mrs Hudson seems to approve of this growth.  
  
However, she did not approve of the growing pile of papers around Mr Holmes chair.  He told her they were all very important and must not be touched and moved in anyway.  Mrs Hudson asked him if the muddy footprint in the middle of one of the pieces of paper was a clue.  Mr Holmes said something like “Harrumph”, which apparently meant it wasn’t.  
  
Mrs Hudson said she was surprised, since she had been following a trail, which had led her upstairs and across the sitting room floor.  Mrs Hudson added that if the footprints weren’t clues she was intending to clean them up, and he should therefore move his papers.  Mr Holmes looked obstinately at Mrs Hudson.  I do not recommend this course of action.  Neither does Dr Watson, who quietly slipped out.  I believe this is the sort of occasion when he spends the day at his club.  
  
Mrs Hudson said, “Mr Holmes, I have better things to do than clean up after you.”  
  
And Mr Holmes replied, “Then perhaps you should go and do them.”  
  
I recommend this course of action even less.  
  
After which, Mrs Hudson became stone deaf.  Every time the doorbell rang Mr Holmes had to answer it.  Since it was just before Christmas there were a number of tradesmen who called, as well as two clients who came in the morning, and Inspector Lestrade and my favourite inspector who called round in the afternoon.  Mr Holmes had to go and ask Mrs Hudson for some tea for the inspectors, and when it arrived there were only two tea cups, not three.  
  
By late afternoon, Mr Holmes went out, calling loudly as he did so, “I shall be out for a half an hour, Mrs Hudson.  And by the way, I’ve picked up those papers.”  
  
  
  
The hyacinths will be in flower soon.  It is quite exciting watching them progress day by day.  I wonder if it is like this for Mr Holmes as he watches a case come into flower.  
  
Both inspectors called again this afternoon.  I studied dear Inspector Hopkins face, and he seemed less strained today.  The lines which were marring the perfection of his brow are somewhat smoothed, which is a relief to me.  
  
I do not think everything is solved yet, for there was much planning going on.  Mr Holmes is still quite short in his speech, but at least he is being polite again to Mrs Hudson.  (Matters had improved by yesterday evening.  When Dr Watson returned he asked Mr Holmes “Is Mrs Hudson serving dinner tonight, or shall I go straight back out to my club?”  Mr Holmes said “Hmpf” which clearly is a positive response, because the doctor stayed.)  
  
I did not listen to all the conversation, preferring instead to concentrate on watching my sweet inspector’s hands as they moved over diagrams they were drawing.  I understand they are all going out tonight, (stay safe, dear one), and expect to catch the perpetuators (I think that is how it is spelled) in the act.  
  
So tomorrow, when I wake, I hope to see my hyacinths in bloom and the case safely closed.  
  



	3. Washing Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mouselet reports on washing day at 221B Baker Street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for LJ's Amnesty Challenge "Washing" prompt

Yesterday was washing day.   I knew this even before I peeked out, for I could hear Mrs Hudson complaining to Mr Holmes.  
  
“Really, Mr Holmes.  I cannot imagine how your shirt sleeves end up in this state.  I presume these are grass stains, and mud, which should not be coming indoors.  This I think is blood, and as for this, I am not sure I want to know.  I expect the occasional fluid stain on the doctor’s shirts, and he always makes a point of apologising, but I cannot see why you need to have anything similar.”  
  
She had almost departed when she added, “And don’t think I’ve missed the bicycle grease stain on the front of the shirt either.  How I am going to get rid of that I don’t know.”  
  
One would almost have thought Mr Holmes was deaf from the way he did not react to this at all.  However he seemed perfectly happy to continue his conversation with Dr Watson as soon as Mrs Hudson had left, so I conclude he did not have a hearing impairment after all.  
  
Later that morning, once the two gentlemen had gone out, Mrs Hudson and Esme came up to clean the rooms.  They were partway through when Mrs Hudson suddenly said, “It’s starting to rain.  Come on we must get the washing in again.”  
  
Esme said, “But it’s only a shower and the washing has just gone out.  My mother never worries about the rain until the washing is nearly dry.”  
  
“But that’s in the country, dear, where the rain water is clean.  Here it will leave grey streaks on all the clean clothes.  Not that Mr Holmes would notice.  But it’s the principle.”  
  
So Mrs Hudson and Esme went to get the principle in, and then a little later when it had stopped raining, they put it out again.  
  
The next thing I heard about the washing was in the afternoon, when my beloved inspector arrived and offered to bring the basket of clean bed linen and clothing upstairs.  Mrs Hudson thanked him and said she would bring the tea up in a few minutes.  
  
While they waited, Mr Holmes was describing a crustacean [ **O/N:** our best guess is this was a credulous client and not a crab] who believed in ghosts and who had been terrorised by a relative who had pretended to be a ghost.  In order to demonstrate, Mr Holmes had taken one of the clean sheets which he used to cover himself.   
  
Unfortunately he leapt out making ghostly noises just at the point at which Mrs Hudson came into the room carrying the tea tray.  Not surprisingly, this made her jump, for she was, as she explained later, expecting three gentlemen to be sitting quietly in arm chairs, and not two gentlemen in arm chairs and one lunatic hiding behind the door and making noises.  The Sloth tells me he is not allowed to print the word Mrs Hudson used to describe the noises.  
  
Anyway, the teapot slipped off the tray and landed right in the middle of the clean washing.  I don’t think I have ever seen Dr Watson and Inspector Hopkins depart so rapidly.  
  
In fact my inspector left so quickly he forgot his hat.  It was a few hours later when the two gentlemen crept back in.  The dear man said he would take his hat and go, but then they both started to giggle and he had to sit down.  
  
I was somewhat mystified as to what could have happened to them, but before I could worry about it Esme came in, put down a tray with some cold supper on it, and said, “Mrs Hudson said this is all you’re getting.  She also said she presumes you’ve been hiding in the Red Lion and you are not to disturb her when you leave.”  
  
I had a look at the supper, but it wasn’t very exciting, so I contented myself with watching my dearest man eat.  



	4. Observations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the "Amnesty Challenge" on LJ/DW Fan Flashworks, prompts 'Breakfast', 'Five Things' and 'Sleepless'

I have observed several things this week:  
  
Firstly, when Mr Holmes is dealing with a complicated case he stays awake at night and plays his violin.  But the tunes aren’t pleasant tunes, such as nocturnes or lullabies, but ones he composes as he goes along, which are generally very discordant and very unpleasant to listen to.  
  
Secondly, I have observed Mr Holmes’ violin playing disturbs Dr Watson’s sleep.  This is particularly upsetting for the doctor during a difficult case, because he will be tired and, if he has done a lot of walking, his leg will ache badly.  It is therefore important for the doctor to sleep undisturbed and not be woken by the noisy violin.  
  
Thirdly, I have observed Dr Watson will be bad-tempered if he has not been able to sleep well and his leg is still aching in the morning.  This is understandable, but unfortunate, because today he snapped at Esme, the housemaid, when she accidentally dropped a slice of toast.  Normally he would quietly ask her to make some more.  Esme burst into tears.  
  
Fourthly, when Esme is upset this puts Mrs Hudson in a bad mood, because she has to do extra work as well as consoling the housemaid.  So, when my dearest Inspector Hopkins came, and Mr Holmes asked for some coffee, Mrs Hudson brought it up and slammed the tray down so hard she made the cups jump.  After which she glared at my poor innocent inspector.  
  
Fifthly, my inspector is a very sensitive person.  He was aware Dr Watson was rather short-tempered, and when Mrs Hudson was not at all pleasant to him either, he decided he would not stay.  He very politely told Mr Holmes he would return tomorrow if he had any more news and left.  This is Not Good At All!  
  
Since this state of affairs could not be allowed to continue I decided I had to take action.  I am only a small mouse, and therefore unlikely to be able to solve Mr Holmes’ case.  The only alternative was to prevent Mr Holmes from playing the violin.  I have observed he always rosins his bow before he plays, and I have heard him tell the doctor it is vitally important to do this every time.  I have therefore hidden the rosin, so we should all get a decent night’s sleep.  And hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day.


	5. All A'Rush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for LJ/DW Fan Flashworks Amnesty Challenge, Rush prompt

Everyone has been rushing around today; it’s been hard to keep up with what’s happening.  First thing this morning Mr Holmes rushed downstairs to see Mrs Hudson.  He then rushed back up and told the doctor what he had done.  The doctor merely nodded and continued reading his newspaper.  
  
Shortly after that Mrs Hudson appeared with breakfast and said, “I really don’t know why you had to charge in and disturb us, Mr Holmes, we have everything quite under control.”  
  
Then, as soon as he had finished breakfast, Mr Holmes rushed out.  And about five minutes later, Dr Watson picked up a piece of paper which must have fallen on the floor, said, “Oh really, Holmes!” and rushed out after him.  
  
It wasn’t long after that Mrs Hudson came up to collect the breakfast tray.  With her were Esme and Billy.  
  
“Right you two,” Mrs Hudson said, “You know what to do.  Be as quick as you can, you know we don’t have much time.”  
  
She then departed rapidly back downstairs, carrying the tray.  
  
A little while later, Dr Watson returned.  Followed shortly afterwards by Inspector Hopkins.  I was hoping the inspector would be staying for coffee, but he looked out of the window and said, “Oh no!  I must go.”  And departed.  
  
Then Mr Holmes rushed in.  There was a knock on the door.  Dr Watson looked out of the window, “Holmes, it’s Lestrade!”  
  
Without giving Mrs Hudson or Billy time to go down and answer the door, Mr Holmes rushed back down to open it himself.  (This is most unusual.)  Then he hurried the inspector upstairs, saying “Come along, inspector, no time to dawdle.”  
  
Dr Watson went down to ask Mrs Hudson for some coffee, and then I could hear him on his way back up.  However, Inspector Lestrade said, “Holmes, I’ll go and make those enquiries and I’ll be back later.”  
  
And then I heard Dr Watson turn round on the stairs and rush back to see Mrs Hudson.  This is very strange, because even if the inspector was leaving, it was time for coffee.  And it would mean there were no biscuit crumbs.  
  
And so the day continued.  It was all very strange.  Normally, Mrs Hudson would have complained about the continuous to-ing and fro-ing, but today she seemed to be just as involved as everyone else.  Although she did command my beloved inspector to sit down and eat a sandwich before he disappeared again.  Which, of course, was also peculiar.  Not that Mrs Hudson was telling my inspector to eat – she believes, as I do, that he needs caring for – but that it was not a proper luncheon.  
  
By mid-afternoon, my poor little head was in a complete whirl.  Inspector Lestrade had returned, and had managed to drink a cup of tea.  But then the doctor had looked at Mr Holmes and nodded at the clock.   
  
At once, Mr Holmes stood up and said, “Lestrade, no time to lose.”  He grabbed his elbow and almost hauled him out of the armchair, before hustling him down the stairs, telling him there was no time to put his coat on.  
  
After which, the best of all inspectors returned for the third time.  He was carrying a tray of cold meats and cheeses.  Esme and Billy followed, with more food, which Esme arranged on the table.  Then Mrs Hudson came in, carrying a large bowl of punch.  Had the weather not been warm and sunny, I might have thought it was Christmas.  
  
Dr Watson was watching out of the window and called out, “They’re on their way.”  
  
Everyone stood in front of the table, which meant the food was hidden.   
  
Mr Holmes and Inspector Lestrade came in and they all sang out “Happy Birthday!” and moved away from the table, so the inspector could see the feast spread out.  
  
Inspector Lestrade stood for a short while, as if he had lost his voice, but then he said, “Thank you very much.  What a surprise!”  
  
And everyone laughed and began talking at once.  
  
Mrs Hudson, Esme and Billy stayed for tea, and then they left the four gentlemen alone.  Dr Watson gave Inspector Lestrade a box of cigars, and Mr Holmes and my inspector gave him bottles of something.  They were different bottles, with different coloured liquids.  I don’t drink such things, so I can’t tell you exactly what they were.  
  
It was a lovely evening.  Inspector Lestrade seemed very happy to celebrate his birthday in this way.  And I was happy because I had a whole evening to enjoy my inspector.


	6. Mouselet's Colourful Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mouselet's week has a number of colours, but every day there's something red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for DW's Fan Flashworks Amnesty Challenge, Prompt 'Red'

**Ocelot Note** : In the final entry in this series of Mouselet’s Occasional Column, she highlights five red things which have made her week.

The week did not begin well, for dear Inspector Hopkins called in (that of itself was a good thing), but his arm was bleeding (a bad thing). Fortunately, Dr Watson was able to bandage him up and after Mr Holmes had given him some brandy for the shock, my beloved man looked much better, and his face was not as horribly white as it had been. Mr Holmes also had some brandy, although I don’t know what had shocked him; he is very used to the sight of blood.

Then on Tuesday, Mr Holmes read a telegram whilst he and the doctor were eating luncheon. He jumped up and knocked a large tomato on the floor. He can’t have noticed what had happened because as he went to retrieve a book from the bookcase he trod on it, leaving a large red mark on the carpet. He and the doctor hurried out shortly afterwards, which was a good thing, because the air went blue when Mrs Hudson discovered the mark.

On Wednesday Mr Holmes had a client who was wearing a dark red waistcoat. The waistcoat didn’t suit him at all, although he seemed to be fond of it, because he stroked it in the same way some people stroke their dogs. (Normally the nasty yappy types – I like to attract their attention and then they run around yapping. Mr Holmes doesn’t mind my doing this as the client comes to the point much quicker for some reason.) The waistcoat was also too small for the client – I could see the buttons straining.

The client said some very ~~uncomplimentary~~ rude things about the police force. He has clearly not met my intelligent inspector. The client didn’t stay very long – I wonder if he will say similar things about Mr Holmes later – and when he stood up to leave he put on a pair of pale grey gloves.

At that moment Mr Holmes made three deductions from the gloves and told the client that it would have helped if he’d given the full story and not just the one which put the client in a good light. The client stroked his waistcoat again, said, “I told you what you needed to know,” and left.

Yesterday was a ‘Mr Holmes plays strange tunes on his violin’ day. It was also a day when the Doctor departed for his club (I believe the two are related) and Mrs Hudson and Esme did all the noisy household chores.

Early in the afternoon Mr Holmes suddenly said, “Of course, that’s why”, practically sang as he put his violin away, and rushed out. Mrs Hudson told Billy to run round to the club and tell Dr Watson it was safe to come home.

I believe the case must have been solved successfully, because last night Mr Holmes and the Doctor went to the opera, wearing their very smart black top hats and beautiful red rosebuds in their buttonholes.

And this afternoon is perfection. My dear inspector has come to tea and he is not in a rush. I know this because Mrs Hudson is using the pretty green tea set which Mr Holmes is only allowed when he is having proper tea with visitors. Mrs Hudson says the tea set will last longer that way.

My inspector is here; he looks happy and relaxed. The Doctor has checked his arm and is pleased with the way it is mending. I crept close enough to see – it is such a strong, muscular arm, it would be a shame not to take the opportunity.

And there are jam tarts, with not just one sort of jam but two: raspberry and strawberry. Hopefully my dear inspector will drop a crumb or two for me. In the meantime I shall happily watch the wonderful man as he eats – for his lips too are a beautiful red.

[ **O/N** : We assume Mouselet finished her column here. If there was any more she has drooled all over it, and further paeans to Inspector Hopkins have been rendered illegible.]


End file.
